January - Or As We Call It: Hell Month

It is going to be a very busy day today as I try to finish up story boards. I am starting to wonder why I chose the month of January to do this.

January in my house is crazy...because I drive my husband crazy. A typical January conversation will go like this:
"Suzan, how can you go all year without balancing your check book?? Why did I find your receipts to your trip to Nashville in a Jimmy John's sack in the bottom of your desk drawer? Where the heck are your receipts for (fill in the blank - it could be anything he's asking about)? Where is your check register? What do you mean you don't have a check register??? How do you expect me to do the taxes when nothing is organized???"

My answers are thus:



1.  I hate balancing my check book. The lines on the register thingy are too small.

2. I put them in the Jimmy John's sack when I cleaned out the car. I didn't want to lose them.

3. Receipts for (whatever it is he's looking for) could be found in a) big black purse b) little black purse c) computer bag d) one of my desk drawers downstairs e) drawer of desk upstairs f) glovebox of my car...I usually stop there because this is when the vein in his forehead starts to bulge.

4. See answer 1.

5. Can't we hire an accountant to do the taxes?

Its usually about the time that I suggest an accountant that his eye begins to twitch and he takes a deep breath before speaking again. I know he's counting to fifty.  "The accountant will need receipts too."

"Well, if we had an accountant, I could just send him my receipts, right?"

"In theory, yes. If you knew where your receipts were."

In the end, I beg forgiveness for my forgetfulness, remind him that he knew I was like this when he married me, remind him that I love him more than I love my next breath and then make his favorite dinner. He always eats like a king in January.

Yes, I understand the importance of all this tax stuff its just that I detest doing it. I'd rather write. Words I can understand, certain numbers I get. But all this keeping track of receipts and such makes my head hurt. I keep a mental note of what I've earned and what I've spent in a special file in my brain.

Keep in mind, there is never any yelling, screaming or lamp throwing. My husband is always calm - at least he appears to be calm. I know the truth: I drive him nuts. He does his best to hide it. He gets an A+ for not yelling and a lemon merengue pie for not leaving me.

It takes a special man to survive being married to me. He is such a man. Honestly, I could not do this without him.

February 2014 will be eerily similar to February 2013 and 2012. I will enter all my checks and debits into my check register for the first few weeks. Then I'll gradually forget or get too busy. I'll go the rest of the year trying to keep track in that special file in my brain, and hope like hell I can access it next January.

I'd like to blame all the construction going on in our house for nothing being organized. It would be a lie and my husband would see right through it. He knows me all too well. That raises the question of why he is so surprised with my accounting methods every January, but I can't take time to ponder that as I need to find more of my receipts. I think I have some in a shoe box in the closet.